Fake CSE'A' Student - CRICKET

CIRIIICKAAET!!

Well, I wanted to write abt our coll life. We had soooo many interesting things that happnd..but wat struck me first was our cricketing sessions everyday aftr coll. Lemme tell u tell u one thing. Exaggeration and this article are gonna be synonymous. So don’t expect me to apologize for exaggeration. Probably I might apologize if there s anything true here! College life, so iam gonna use the funky word usage style and all the abbreviations (to be honest, I dunno to write professional style!)

So, the characters:

• Bengali Tiger
• SuperStar
• Sleeping Beauty
• Buttocks
• Gym
• UlagaNayagan
• Music
• Little Master
• NRC(Non Resident Chennaite!(like NRI))
• Chiranjeevi
• Pavillion
• Court
• Rooney
• Duckworth
• Lewis
• Hygiene
• Pookutty

Pre-Match Scene:

Ok, lemme start . Music, Bengali Tiger are mad abt cricket. They don’t even care abt their project. They even mesmerise Sleeping Beauty and are all set to play aftr coll. Now, the thing with SuperStar and Gym is that, they are ready to bunk proj work but they would wanna play soccer and not cricket. They are backed by Pavilion and Buttocks. It is a challenge for Music and Bengali Tiger to convince the other guys. They are let down by Sleeping Beauty as he is over the phone half of the time! Gym, SuperStar, Court, NRC, Pav, Buttocks, Chiru, Hygiene and LittleMaster!! Convincing them luks tuf right? But there is no problem with Buttocks as Bengali Tiger knows hw to put him off haha..all it needs to put Buttocks off is 5 mins of talk wid Bengali Tiger! Hygiene stayed at Chromepet. The thing with Hygiene is that he is not sure with anything! He is half hearted in everything. So convincing him is just a cake walk! The main concern now is Gym, SuperStar and Pavilion. Pavillion, especially never wanted to play cricket. But he was forced to play every single day as the ground where we played is right next to his house. So he draws the sympathy of Gym and Superstar. Both being Chelsea fanatics, they too are interested in soccer. On the prev night, SS, Gym, Buttocks, Hygiene n Pav plan to play soccer and come ready with the ball. Pav is in charge of getting the ball. Wat poor Pav forgets is to fill air in the ball everytime haaha..So now, Music and BT get a nice excuse to convince ppl to play crick! N now comes the introduction of the other characters. The NRC is never enthusiastic about staying back aftr coll. Poor him, its understandable on his part as it takes about 187 mins and 34 secs fr him to reach home. But Music and BT want him also to join the play. So they try calling him over phone. Thy call him ovr phone cos, he tries to escape from the scene and already is in otteri! So, he sees the call n decides not to pick up, probably cos he s roaming now, he s not a Chennaite u see, so incoming calls might cost him! But somehow he is also convinced to stay back. Then comes our Chiranjeevi. This Chiru of ours has got 182 cousin brothers and 128 cousin sisters. So, invariably he s busy attending their weddings and receptions. 182+128=310..the remaining 55 days, he s busy representing his colony in basketball finals/tt finals/badminton finals and all other shit. But what poor Chiru forgets is that his team had already lost the semis!!! BT n Music remember that and catch Chiru red handed! Aah by now, SS n Gym’s minds are again angling towards soccer. But BT n Music have got 2 more ppl to support them! So BT, Music, Chiru and NRC talk to SS n Gym. SS, stealthily looks at Gym and Pav. Pav is desperate for soccer! Our Chiru betrays us and starts supporting soccer! But what BT and Music forget is that they have left out Court and Ulaganayagan. These two ppl are a different species. Lemme tell u abt Court. He stays at Tambaram. Nothing annoys him as his bro! he wants to play everyday, but doesn wanna show that. BT n Music know this trick and pretend begging n pleading him to come to play. Exactly the 3 rd time we plead, he says okay! And, UN is a fan of 70A. He ll come to play if he doesn see a 70A ptc bus on the way! If at all one catches his eye, that’s the end of the story! So we are extra careful with UN’s case. Court has got this ability to convince ppl. So BT and Music use Court to convince SS and Gym. You must know about Duckworth and Lewis. D and L are best friends. They stay at Pallavaram and Sanatorium respectively. As their names suggest, they are two ppl who are not enthusiastic about cricket. Just to justify their names, D/L dont come into play every day. N when they come, its fun! All they know about cricket is that, to play cricket, you need a cue stick, goal keeper, a table, a hockey bat, a basketball net and a referee! That s their knowledge about cricket. Yet, they are compelled to play cricket. So they too join! Now comes Pookutty. When Pookutty was born, God decided, Pookutty and Questions are gonna be synonymous. Recently, I even heard, talks are going on in Anna University to rename 2 mark questions and 16 mark questions as 2 mark Pookuttys and 16 mark Pookuttys! Now, back to the topic, Pookutty is game for anything. He s a kinda guy who can play Cricket in Soccer and Soccer in Cricket. That is unique talent that he has got! so he himself volunteers into whatever we decide to play! Now, every one but Pav is convinced and are all set to play. Now Music goes to Pav and consoles him, “macha, tomo sure soccer!” Poor Pav has no other go but to play cricket! So the gang is all set now to leave to the ground! Music and BT silently exchange a look, a proud look of achievement!

In the bus:

Now, D, L and Hygiene fight over who s gonna ride pillion in L's bike. Somehow, D always emerges as the winner and Hygiene is left disappointed!! So, D/L come to the ground in L's bike. The rest of the gang take a bus. BT is reminded to call Rooney. We rarely met Rooney at coll, as Rooney happened to study ECE. Rooney also had a bike and stayed at Perungalathur. So he cud easily make it there with late notice! Meanwhile, there is a big chaos as to who ll get the ticket. SS, NRC, UN, Gym, Pookutty and Court have got their bus passes. NRC has got a bus pass with which he can even go to Andhra!!, so vandalur to perungalathur is just a joke for him. Buttocks has also got a bus pass which he bought when he was in his second yaer and forgot to renew it hence! He thinks its still valid and doesn bother getn a ticket fr himself. Chiru is a guy who comes to coll in his friend's car! So he has no other go but to get tickets. But here is where chiru proves he is clever. He knows he is gonna be compelled to stay back almost everyday. So he has a bus pass anyway! Court has got a default place in PTC buses, no don’t mistake him for a driver or a conductor! Even in an empty bus, he prefers the footboard. In this short span of time, Pookutty asks about 129 doubts to the gang, abt what bus are we in, who all are in the bus, hw long does a driver drive at a stretch, what would be the driver's daily pay, where does the driver have lunch, where the conductor stays and other doubts that are not even remotely connected to Cricket! And by the time Hygiene, BT n Music decide to get tickets, the bus is already at Perungalathur and the gang gets down. Pav disappointedly murmurs to Gym which Music overhears "soccer a adirklam ”!!hahah

At The Ground:

After all the lemon juice/rosemilk/burgers/sandwich/water packets, the gang reach the ground.Reminder: Rooney hasn’t arrived yet. Here is the introduction scene of the comedian of the story, Our Little Master! By The Way, Our BT’s phone is considered to be a really high tech phone!!!!! It has the option of setting up different ringtones for differ people. When a gal calls, it is some jaane tu song, when some othr gal calls, its some othr romantic song, When Arun or Balaji calls it is some 'munnaal munaal munaal vaada, unnal mudiyum thozha', and When we guys call, it is the same old monotonous nokia tune(tananananananananannn!!) tats wat I meant by high tech. The phone knows exactly whether BT wants to pick up the phone or not! However, BT has got a soft corner for Lil Master. So there is some special Atif Aslam song or some other crap but whats important is Lil Master is calling. The funniest thing abt LM(aah hw did ur initials turn up here..but I meant Lil Master! :P) is, he doesn need a cell phone. U can hear him on the other end anyways. Tats hw loudly he speaks. So ya, he s d person who calls, he says he s busy wid Head Of Dept. oops sorry tats nt Head Of Dept, its HOD! But the reality being, he s at perungalathur bus stop angry on us that we forgot to call him! BT asks him to join too and LM says he ll come aftr he gets done with his work. BT cuts the call, turns around to see LM already there! The irony with Rooney and LM is that LM says he ll be late, but ll be early. Rooney says he would be early, but would be very late. Reminder: Rooney hasn’t arrived yet. And now, its time to decide the teams. Here is where u need Sleeping Beauty! If you are in SB’s team, you are sure to win. Not that he is a match winner, but that he ensures that all the match winners are in his side!!! So ppl desperately wanna get into SB’s team. Pookutty silently but cautiously monitors all the happenings! One thing that makes Pookutty interesting is, he thinks his main role in the team is to watch if the opponents are counting the score properly. He turns out to be the first and the only person to find out any discrepancies in the score! More often than not, its Music who does all this stuff, and gets caught 11/10 times! So Music is extra careful if Pookutty is his opponent! But the irony being that Pookutty gets Music caught even if they are in the same team! "Justice means Justice", thinks Pookutty! Meanwhile, Hygiene gives some suggestions about the toss and the game plan to his captain and the captain ensures that none of it is executed! That s Hygiene's contribution to the team! D and L were always opponents to even out the teams's strength. Dunno why, but it always happened that BT and Buttocks were opponents. That paved way to all the sledging fun. Eventually, the match gets heated up, the tempo raises. Music gets pissed off when some1 drops a catch, BT gets pissed off when asked to bowl slow, NRC gets pissed off when some passer-by talks in Telugu, he gets homesick(aftr all he comes to coll from deep interior Andhra you see)!, Gym gets pissed off when he is run-out(esp when Music made the wrong call!!, which is always the case), SB gets pissed off for hmm almost everything!, Hygiene gets pissed off when asked to get the ball from the dirty ditches or the bushes surrounding the ground, Chiru and UN always wanna keep wickets and have a fight and eventually get pissed off too! LM gets pissed off every time he drops a catch, Pookutty gets pissed off when the opponent utters the wrong score, even if not on purpose!, SS gets pissed off if some1 refuses giving Pav the first over, n Pav's pissing off begun long back when we decided to play cricket itself. So there s no question of him getting pissed off here. Disputes begin. Reminder Again: Rooney hasn’t arrived. Ppl get to feel the tension around! This is where every gang needs Buttocks!(well no pun intended).. Buttocks is one guy who can easily calm situations down, I cant tell u how, cos there have been innumerous instances! However, one incident worth mentioning is this, SS and Buttocks are batting in the middle, BT and Music are almost always in the same team. Music is keeping wickets, BT is at his fiery best(not surprising? Well ya I know, but wait il make it up in the second phrase :P), and '''Buttocks is playing quite well today'''(nw, this is surprising fr sure! :P)! NRC is at long on. Buttocks drives it to NRC, SS settles for a single, Buttocks thinks a second is on, but is not sure what to do. Music senses this and calls Buttocks for the second! Poor Buttocks mistakes SS for the call, returns for the second and gets run out! And suddenly the gang bursts into laughter and the tension is forgotten! N eventually, we decide to stop playing(not cos of the disputes but cos of reasons like bad light, Gym hits the ball into the bushes, BT's pace has broken the ball, Chiru has to accompany his mom to temple, SS has to get clothes!,NRC remembers he has CAT classes, Court hears the sound of the some goods train passing by and he remembers he is late(tats exactly y we dont even listen to 'Chayya Chayya' or 'Chikku Bukku Raile' in frnt of him, the train sound pisses him off mightily :P)!, Gym has to buy a new monitor for his desktop!, or attend driving classes, Pav has .net class, or other similar weird reasons!). But the most important thing is that s the end of day's play. Breaking news: Rooney arrives!!!

Post-Match Scene:

SS gets into his kalaai mood, n poor Rooney is the victim. Pookutty gets into his groove and starts questioning Rooney as to why he was late, what was he upto all this while and blah blah.. We make Rooney drop us at the station! We assure Pav abt playing soccer the next day(See hw kind hearted we are :))! D and L have left half hour back! We leave to the station, SS wants to catch the superfast train, But the Fast train doesn’t stop at SB’s place, so SS, with his famous reaction, half-heartedly agrees to wait for the next train. Music and Gym note SS's reaction and burst into uncontrollable laughter! The gang meanwhile munch on puffs, hot chappatis, bananas, buttermilk and burfi! Now, comes the scene of getting tickets. Music, SS, Gym are damn tired. So they never go n get tickets. Invariably, it is either Court, Chiru, BT or NRC. The thing with BT is that he doesn know how many tickets to get. So he ends up getting 3-4 tickets extra! Chiru and NRC think they know what to get and confidently go to the counter, but they give us a call when they reach the counter! SS explains them patiently, even without realizing that his burger is being eaten up by others! Yet, Chiru and NRC end up getn the wrong tickets! So, we work out all the permutations and combinations, distribute the tickets, decide to get down at Tambaram, get into another train and try to make a simple return journey as complicated as possible. And Pookutty has been silent for a while.So u know what he is gonna do, so am not gonna waste my space here, yes 'Questions' again!!! Music checks the time, the watch says, its 630. Rooney reaches home at 631. Pav would have reached at 620! Court reaches home at 7. Hygiene reaches at 720. SB reaches at 745. SS, Buttocks, UN reach home at 8. Music reaches at 830. Gym and BT reach at 845. Chiru raches at 850. LM and Pookutty reach at 9. NRC reaches at 1145!!!!! What is worth noting here is that, 1145, is time that poor Gym, Pav, SS, Hygiene and Buttocks are on conference over phone, overoptimistically planning for soccer the next day ;) ;) ;)